Being the 35th edition of Assorted Nonsense, the official newsletter of Donovan Street Press Inc.
Gurus
Just to be clear, I am not a guru. I don’t have tons of people following me on social media or a whack load of subscribers on Substack.
But even if I did have tons of followers I would not be a guru. I would not present myself as a guru or accept anyone calling me one.
What do I mean by guru? I mean someone proposing to know more than the rest of us about a particular subject, whether it be writing, selling ads on Facebook or Amazon, or how to live, how to be, how to lose weight or how to get into heaven. That sort of thing.
Other people can call themselves gurus; that’s their business. And you can listen to them and that’s your business. But I will only take what they say with a grain of salt and I would advise you to do the same, but hey, don’t listen to me, cuz I am not a guru on anything let alone the subject of gurus.
There are people I respect a whole lot. I will listen to them and possibly even believe a greater percentage of what they have to say than other people. Carl Sagan, for one. I like a lot of what he has to say. But even Carl Sagan I will not place upon a pedestal because he was only human, like the rest of us. And that’s what it comes down to, really. We’re all just human, and I’ve yet to meet a human who is perfect. I certainly am not. Heck, I just split an infinitive there, which proves it. Or does it? Cuz some writing gurus will tell you not to split that infinitive, while others will tell you split away. Who you gonna believe? I don’t know. Because I’m not a guru on anything, writing included.
I know a little bit about a lot of stuff. I could probably help you with your lasagna. I’ve spent years perfecting mine. I wrote a book about radio once. Does that make me a guru on radio? No. You’d be amazed how much I still don’t know about radio. I know lots of people who haven’t written books about radio who know more about radio than I do.
What about writing books? I’ve written and published three. Does that make me an expert? Nope. I just know a tiny little bit. But wait, you might say. Didn’t you start your own indie publishing company? Aren’t you about to publish other authors? It’s true, I am. Am I lying to those authors now under contract to Donovan Street Press Inc. about my expertise in the publishing business? Nope. They all know exactly my level of expertise, or lack thereof. We’re learning about the publishing business together. We all know a bit about writing and the publishing business. None of us is a guru, but when we put what knowledge we do have together, we’re all the better off for it.
One of the things I learned while I was in management with the CBC is that nobody has all the pieces to the puzzle. Some people are quite knowledgeable about this and that but nobody knows it all. Nobody! Which is why we all worked together and met and talked about what we were doing so that we could all learn from one another, and work collaboratively, and make informed decisions. There was no one “guru” we’d all bow down to. Even the so-called “smartest person in the room” (there was always a “smartest person in the room”) looked to others for information. Heck, one of the so-called smartest people in the room even looked to me for answers from time to time. He even listened to me, and acted upon my information. Because I’m a guru? Nope! I just happened to have the answers he needed on those days.
Neil Gaiman has been considered a bit of a guru for a while. And he’s gotten into a bit of trouble recently. I have no comment on the trouble he’s in except to say that this is one of the problems with gurus. You place them on a pedestal and they’re likely to fall off. In response to the situation with Gaiman, some have turned to John Scalzi. “At least we still have Scalzi,” they said. In response to this, Scalzi has written an excellent piece on why nobody should turn to him to be the next guru. Scalzi’s a very likable guy and he certainly fits many guru requisites, such as he’s got a large following and he writes with great wit and wisdom about a great many things.
But, as much as we might hate to believe it, even John Scalzi is a mere human, as he himself would be the first to admit.
We sure do want gurus, though, don’t we? We want someone to guide us, give us the answers, tell us what to do. Where’s Gandalf when you need him? We are only too happy to place (insert select Messiah here) on that pedestal and then do whatever they tell, us whether it’s purchase Amazon Ads in exactly this fashion or write in exactly that fashion or eat this way or dress that way or go to war or whatever.
Don’t listen to them. Listen to yourself, based on your own experience. If you don’t have enough experience yet, just wait. You’ll get it eventually.
But hey, don’t listen to me.
I ain’t no guru.
Success in Publishing
Now, just because I ain’t no guru doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions. It just means you have to take those opinions with a grain of salt.
Anyway, I keep thinking about how to be successful in publishing. (What constitutes success is a whole other subject, but for now let’s just say making a living selling books.)
I don’t think it’s rocket science. I don’t there’s any complicated or secret magic formula. I think it comes down to a few simple points:
People have to want your book.
And people have to know about it.
It’s as simple (and as complicated!) as that.
Make something people want, and make them aware of it.
Of course, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
Creating a product that people want usually requires talent, time, imagination and effort. Making people aware of that product requires time, imagination, talent, and (this is starting to sound familiar) effort. Oh, and ideally money.
It all puts me in mind of the time I was camping with my family and I wanted to start a campfire. I’d been a boy scout but I guess I hadn’t been paying attention the day we covered camp fires. I gathered a bunch of wood and do you think I could get that fire started? Nope. Turns out I’d gathered wet, green wood. It smoked but never burned. Another camper set me straight. He got me good dry wood. Then he poured kerosene all over it, lit a match, and we watched that campfire burn all night.
The point being if your book isn’t something people want to read you’re finished before you even start. How do you turn a book into a bestseller? First, write a bestseller.
But say you’ve written that potential bestseller. Still not enough. You’ve got to pour kerosene all over it (um, figuratively speaking… this isn’t Farenheit 451 we’re talking about here). And here the deck is stacked. A publishing company like TOR can throw tons of money (kerosene) at your book. TOR can buy ads and placements in bookstores and fund book tours (book TORS? sorry) and so on. The rest of us have to be infinitely more creative trying to create the conditions that allow word of mouth to kick in.
Until we’re as successful as TOR and are able to just start throwing money at it.
(I can dream, can’t I?)
Here are a couple of examples. One of my favourite songs is Hold On Sister by John Charlton from his album Benji. Who, you ask? I found the CD in Studio 212 in the Toronto Broadcast Centre, put it on, listened to it, and fell in love with the song Hold On Sister. NOBODY knows this song. I’m sure it would have been at least a minor hit had anybody ever heard it. Did it ever get airplay? No idea. Probably it wasn’t even released as a single. The whole CD is obviously an indie project, a labour of love. I may be the song’s only fan. Maybe it accomplished what Charlton wanted from it, and maybe that’s good enough for him.
Now take In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins. Collins recorded demos for the album in a home studio in his bedroom in Shalford, Surrey, England. So far kinda the same as John Charlton. But of course Collins had put in his time, paid his dues with Genesis. The cred he’d built up with Genesis allowed him to sign a contract with Virgin Records for a 65,000 pound advance on the album. He re-recorded the album in London and Los Angeles with the likes of Hugh Padgham, and then Virgin records (presumably) threw a lot of money (kerosene) into the promotion and because it was both a fantastic song AND discoverable (thanks to the promotion) we all heard it and loved it and turned it into the hit we’re all intimately familiar with today.
I’m not saying Hold On Sister is the artistic equal of In the Air Tonight (which is obviously a pretty special recording). I am saying that if John Charlton’s Hold On Sister had been re-recorded in London and Los Angeles and distributed properly by Virgin Records with a lot of money behind it then I wouldn’t be the only one to know about it today. (Probably a better example from Phil Collins would be the song Invisible Touch, which [sorry Phil!] is, ah, shall we say, not quite as good a song and yet still became a hit.)
Haircuts and Superglue
Once upon a time I got my hair cut.
My barber excused himself half way through. “Sorry,” he said. “Gotta get my finger sorted out.”
“You cut your finger cutting my hair?” I asked.
“Yes,” he admitted.
“How bad?”
“On a scale of one to ten? About a five.”
“Five!” I exclaimed. “Do you need stitches?”
“Barbers don’t do stitches,” he scoffed. “We do superglue.”
“You guys are made of sterner stuff,” I observed.
My barber pointed at the barber working at the station next to us. “This one just about took his finger off one day. He got out the superglue and managed to squirt it all over his hand. He got a Kleenex and tried to wipe it off. Next thing you know he’s superglued the Kleenex to his entire hand. He looks at me and says, ‘Help!’”
“I had no idea cutting hair is so treacherous,” I said.
He held up a pair of scissors and snipped! them in the air beside my head. “These tools are sharp. They’re dangerous. But the customers come first. Severed fingers or not we’re cutting your damned hair.”
“We appreciate it,” I told him, uncomfortably aware as he snipped away that one slip of the wrist could easily leave me one ear short.
We both survived the haircut intact, or so I thought until I went to leave and he gave me the finger. Not a rude gesture; it was the finger he had accidentally severed while heroically cutting my hair.
I was speechless.
(Okay, I might have made that last bit up, but the rest is true.)
Advance Readers Wanted
Donovan Street Press Inc. is looking for advance readers for upcoming books. If you’re interested, drop us a line at contact@donovanstreetpress.com
Podcast
Re-Creative: a podcast about creativity and the works that inspire it.
This week Mark and I were joined by the famed cyberpunk author Bruce Sterling, from his studio in Torino (Turin), Italy.
"I don't like doing the same thing over," Bruce says. "So, I don't write trilogies or sequels. I'm writing a lot of short fiction. I do some lecturing and consulting. I'm also the art director of an arts festival here in Turin, which is called Share Festival."
One of their projects is to re-create a working model of The Versifier, which was originally a 1959 short story by Primo Levi. In the story, a poet is offered the chance to produce more poetry faster with a machine AI. They are assembling a polystyrene model which is the first step to creating a working replica.
What follows is a deep and fascinating conversation that also digs into the work of kinetic sculptor Alexander Calder, AI technology and the human need to create art.
Future episodes of Re-Creative will feature Blair Young, Tom Bradley, Hugh Spencer, Lisa Brandt, Tony Schwartz, and Robert Runte, with plenty more guests on the way.
All previous episodes are available online, comprising the first 2 seasons, over 40 conversations with creative people from all walks of life about the art stoking their imaginative fires.
Featured Book
Other Times and Places
"Having read Joe Mahoney’s “A Time and a Place” and been suitably impressed with his artistry in story telling, I decided to check out Mahoney’s collection of short stories, “Other Times and Places.” I have not been disappointed. This little collection of stories is big on enjoyability. Highly recommended!” ~ Frank Faulk, Amazon.ca
What do a thief, wizards, a platypus, ghosts, soft drink salesmen, God, the devil, and a spaceman all have in common? Together they will make you laugh, think, sleep better, open your mind, spark your imagination, and quite possibly improve your complexion* as Joe Mahoney brings them all vividly to life in this humorous and thoughtful collection of seven tales of the fantastic.
*Individual results may vary
Coming Soon from Donovan Street Press Inc.
The Gates of Polished Horn by Mark A. Rayner.
Huey and the Wasteland by Matt Watts
A Peculiar Symmetry by Tanah Haney
Appearances
Coming up:
Donovan Street Press Inc. will be at a Pitch the Publisher Event Area 506 Container Market Saint John, NB. Saturday Sept 21st 2024
I’ll be doing another signing with Partridge Island Publishing in the Area 506 Container Market in Saint John, NB Friday Sept 27th
Saturday October 19th I’ll be at the Athena’s Touch Hallowe’en Craft Fair at the Lion’s Club in Riverview, quite possibly in costume. We’ll see!
Thanks for reading!
Follow Joe Mahoney and Donovan Street Press Inc. on: Goodreads, Bluesky, Threads, Mastadon, Facebook, and Instagram
This has been the thirty-fifth edition of Assorted Nonsense, the official newsletter of Donovan Street Press Inc.