A Certain Sheltie
The Empty Vessel Maketh the Loudest Subtitle
Being the 28th edition of Assorted Nonsense, the official newsletter of Donovan Street Press Inc.
Aminals
I had planned to write an especially sagacious essay on Something Important today for this week’s newsletter and even went to bed last night at a reasonable hour (stopping halfway through Zack Snyder’s Justice League to do so… holy crap that’s a long movie) to ensure that I awoke rested and capable of stringing a few cogent thoughts together.
At about four in the morning a certain Sheltie started trotting around the house, its claws or toenails or whatever you call them on a dog going “Click! Click! Click!” on the hardwood floor, loud enough to wake me up. (We do trim those things, whatever they are.)
A certain Siberian Forest Cat jumped on the bed. A certain Sheltie jumped on the bed after it. They chased one another on the bed for a while, just to make sure I was completely awake, I guess. (My wife missed all this; she’s away on a trip, lucky her.)
The animals jumped off the bed. “Aminals,” actually. That’s what I always call them, “aminals.” It’s a reference to an early M*A*S*H episode in which Major Houlihan, slightly tipsy, coming on to Trapper John, says coyly, “You… aminal!” (Loretta Switt’s delivery is perfect.)
It’s unusual for Wendy (the certain Sheltie’s name) to be up at that hour, so I let her out in the fenced-in backyard thinking that maybe she had some business to take care of. After trying to wake up the immediate neighbours with a few piercing barks she seemed fine so I tried to get back to sleep but was soon interrupted by the sound of Wendy horking all over the house like that one scene from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (“It’s wafer thin!”) (I’m sorry if you’re eating while reading this.)
By the time I had the main floor of the house hosed down it was five in the morning (Wendy feels much better now, thanks for asking). I did manage to get back to sleep for a bit but it’s noon now and I feel like I’m functioning at about 38% of normal operating capacity.
My coffee’s ready, though. Maybe that’ll help
Nope. Several sips in and I can’t even reliably place periods at the end of sentences.
Here’s a recent shot of the Sheltie in question. She is a sweetie and we love her, the occasional rough night notwithstanding. They say including pictures of dogs and cats in newsletters helps with subscription rates. Is it true? Accompanied by proper, well-thought out essays, maybe.
What is it Neil Page says to Del Griffith in Trains, Planes and Automobiles?
“And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point.”
Point? POINT? We don’t need no stinking point.
Moments ago I tried and failed to put a fork in the dishwasher. One should be able to place a fork in a dishwasher. (It got in eventually, under its own power, I can only assume.) On a day that I can’t even do forks in dishwashers I can’t be expected to do points in newsletters.
I blame a certain Sheltie.
It could be worse. Imagine if I was actually building up to a proper point and you, The Reader, were suitably engaged, genuinely curious about just what incredible point I was about to make, and suddenly you hit a giant UPGRADE TO PAID preventing you from reading any further. That very thing happened to me earlier this morning reading some other schmuck’s Substack. I think that’s dirty pool, getting the reader halfway through your genuinely interesting essay only to say, “Wait! Hold on. If you want to see more, hand over the dough.”
It’s entirely possible that this guy, a successful author (well, semi-famous, anyway) needs the dough (we all know very few authors are actually making a go of it, however well known), so I won’t hold it against him.
Probably isn’t even his fault. I bet he has a Sheltie.
Somehow, it’s the Sheltie’s fault.
Book Review: Vivid Tomorrows: Science Fiction and Hollywood
I’ve loved the work of author David Brin ever since I stumbled upon his book The Postman in the World’s Biggest Bookstore in Toronto many, many years ago. The Postman is one of only three full length novels I’ve ever read cover to cover in a single sitting. I started reading it one Saturday morning and was still reading it about five the next morning (I was in my early twenties and had time for that sort of thing back then!) (The other two books are Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card and Replay by Ken Grimwood).
I had the good fortune to meet David Brin in another bookstore around 2002 where he was hanging out with fellow author Robert J. Sawyer, who was there signing books that day, and with whom I happened to be working on a project for the CBC at the time. I told Brin how much I’d enjoyed The Postman and his other books, and we chatted about Kevin Costner’s version of The Postman, which I thought Costner had totally botched.
“He got the heart of it right,” Brin told me. And just about everything else wrong.
Fast-forward 22 years and Mark Rayner and I featured David Brin on our podcast Re-Creative. Researching what he’d been up to, I saw this book, Vivid Tomorrows. I downloaded it as an e-book onto my phone and it became my reading material every time I found myself standing in line or waiting somewhere in need of some way to pass the time. And it was a thoroughly enjoyable way to pass the time.
It was almost like chatting with Brin in person. He’s personable and pleasantly opinionated, offering up his thoughts on science fiction movies out of Hollywood, most of which we’re all familiar with but haven’t looked at through quite this lens. Brin has a unique take on most of them. Even movies he enjoys he can’t help but pick apart for their lazy storytelling or horrifying messaging (if you really think about them). He thinks Yoda is one of the most despicable characters ever to grace the silver screen. Can you think of a single wise thing Yoda ever actually says, he challenges?
I enjoyed Brin’s irrascible, occasionally self-deprecating take on these science fiction movies, but I also learned to look at my own story-telling a little more critically. While I was reading it I kept mentally reviewing my own current work-in-progress to see how it stacked up against the points he was making, that I pretty much always agreed with, usually in the vein of, "Huh... I never looked at it that way. But dammit, he's right!” What messages am I actually conveying (deliberately or otherwise) with my stories? Is my story-telling lazy, or am I accidentally championing noveau-feudalism? I think Vivid Tomorrows left me a better story teller. Or at least, a more thoughtful one.
Not a book that compelled me to read it in a single sitting, but a thoroughly enjoyable, thought-provoking read just the same.
***
Post-Script: I emailed the author to let him know I enjoyed the book (authors really like when people do that! Just sayin’.)
David’s response:
“My level of’fame’ is JUST enough to give me delusions that my insights will interest folks. It can be pleasant when that comes true.”
Book Distributors
Regular readers know that I’ve been exploring book distributors to understand how that side of the business works.
There are still a few to explore, including Publishers Group West, Prologue Inc., Nimbus Distribution, and Morning Dove Press.
Today we look at these guys:
Publishers Storing and Shipping (PSSC)
These folks “specialize in order management, warehousing, and fulfillment for publishers.”
Dating back to 1974, these days they provide 200,000 square feet of modern warehousing space (based in Massachusetts and Michigan and built to “exacting specifications”).
They serve over 350 publishers “ranging from single title self-publishers, to publishers with thousands of SKUs,” and apparently do all this with 19 full time employees.
They ship 15 million books annually.
Here’s a video of their facilities:
They don’t appear to help you sell your books, though. They don’t have a sales team to promote your books. They’re just for storing and shipping publishers’ books, taking care of the finances, etc. They don’t help publishers sell their books, as near as I can tell. Publishers figure out where their books are going, and then this company helps get them there, taking care of all the logistics on the way.
Conclusion: Not quite what Donovan Street Press Inc. is looking for.
Re-Creative: a podcast about creativity and the works that inspire it
This week our podcast Re-Creative featured science fiction writer John Scalzi.
I first met John back in 2003 at the World Science Fiction convention in Toronto, across the street from where I worked, back before he’d published his first book, Old Man’s War. It was a lot of fun reminiscing with John (and co-host Mark Rayner, whom I also met at that very same con) about that Worldcon, getting into the nitty gritty of writing books, and John’s creative passion on the side, ambient electronic music… quite possibly his next super successful career, knowing John.
Future episodes of Re-Creative will feature Michael Antman, Catherine Fitzsimmons, Candas Jane Dorsey, Ira Nayman, Blair Young, Bruce Sterling, Tom Bradley, Hugh Spencer, Jenn Thorson, with plenty more guests on the way.
All previous episodes are available online, comprising the first 2 seasons, over 40 conversations with creative people from all walks of life about the art stoking their imaginative fires.
Featured Book
Other Times and Places
“ …a lovely little collection of sci-fi and fantasy short stories, fun and well written.” ~ Charles P. Kelly
(Full disclosure: Charles is my cousin. He’s always been very supportive of my books. Thanks Charles!
What do a thief, wizards, a platypus, ghosts, soft drink salesmen, God, the devil, and a spaceman all have in common? Together they will make you laugh, think, sleep better, open your mind, spark your imagination, and quite possibly improve your complexion* as Joe Mahoney brings them all vividly to life in this humorous and thoughtful collection of seven tales of the fantastic.
*Individual results may vary
Coming Soon from Donovan Street Press Inc.
The Gates of Polished Horn by Mark A. Rayner.
Huey and the Wasteland by Matt Watts
A Peculiar Symmetry by Tanah Haney
Appearances
Summer and Fall starting to fill up!
Greater Moncton Riverview and Dieppe Book Fair Saturday July 27th from 10am until 6pm
Book Signing with Partridge Island Publishing in the Area 506 Container Market in Saint John, NB Monday Aug 5th, 2024
Book Signing with Partridge Island Publishing in the Area 506 Container Market in Saint John, NBFriday Sept 27th, 2024
Donovan Street Press Inc. will be at a Pitch the Publisher Event Area 506 Container Market Saint John, NB. Saturday Sept 21st 2024
I will also be at three Athena’s Touch Craft Fairs this fall, dates yet to be determined, at the Riverview Lion’s Club in Riverview
Follow Joe Mahoney and Donovan Street Press Inc. on: Goodreads, Bluesky, Threads, Mastadon, Facebook, and Instagram
This has been the twenty-eighth edition of Assorted Nonsense, the official newsletter of Donovan Street Press Inc.