Being the 34th edition of Assorted Nonsense, the official newsletter of Donovan Street Press Inc.
Hajime!
I’ve been back studying Karate for about a year and a half now. I feel better than I have in years. I look better than I… okay, actually I look older. Greyer. But that’s all right. It’s enough that I feel better.
About ten years ago, at another dojo in another province, I was a green belt with two brown tips. One promotion away from a brown belt. That was in a style called Matsubayashi-Ryu (Shorin-Ryu) Karate. It was actually going quite well in many (though not all) respects. For one thing, I was as fit as I’d ever been, I think.
Not unlike Shotokan Karate, this newsletter seeks perfection of character, along with a few free or paid subscribers.
Then a weird thing happened. One night after class I got in my Dodge Caravan, checked the rearview mirrors, saw nothing (it was pitch black out), and started to back up. I had no back-up camera in the Caravan. Crunch! Dammit, I’d run into something. I had no idea what.
I parked the Caravan again and got out. Turned out I’d backed into the passenger door of a Fiat owned by one of the other student’s mothers. She hadn’t parked the Fiat; she’d stopped it exactly behind my Caravan to pick up her son. The Fiat was small enough that I couldn’t see it in any of my mirrors, and it was dark enough that it wasn’t visible in my rearview mirror. If I’d had a backup camera it would have been clearly visible, but I didn’t.
There was nothing for it but to accept the blame and apologize. She was gracious although clearly upset that I’d damaged her brand new Fiat.
All that was bad enough but what really bothered me (and her) was that her son, one of my fellow students, a young black belt, had just gotten in the Fiat from between both vehicles. Had I backed up just a few seconds earlier, I would have trapped him in between the back of my Caravan and his mother’s Fiat. Very likely I would have killed him. At the very least he would have been severely injured.
This really shook me up. Obviously I would have been a lot more shaken up had I actually injured my friend and fellow student, but it was such a close call that it still makes me shudder to think of it.
Although this incident had nothing to do with the actual study of Karate it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I decided to leave the dojo. It just left me with a bad feeling. I’d been injured a few times over the previous year. A session practicing kicks with black belts had left me with a severely bruised rib which had lasted weeks. I was always jamming my bare toes on the rubber matts. We had some pretty rough sparring, three against one sometimes, that could be pretty hair-raising; I was always worried about getting seriously injured. There was a brown belt who always had to get the last punch in; this began to really annoy me. (At the same time, I learned a lot from this brown belt, especially about how to end a fight definitively.) Twice I dislocated my right thumb during crossdecks, practicing punches and blocks, to the point that my thumb began to dislocate itself at least once every single day. I had to snap it back into place myself before being able to use it again. (This lasted an entire year before it finally healed). I began to worry about wear and tear on my body. Was the harm beginning to outweigh the benefits?
I like to think of myself as a scientific rationalist but the truth is I’m also pretty superstitious. And I took that business about almost killing my fellow student as a sign. It was time to quit Karate before something really bad happened. I went to one more class to apologize to the black belt for damaging his mother’s car (and almost killing him) and tell my Sensei that I wouldn’t be coming back. Sensei was great; I really liked him, had learned an awful lot from him, and I felt bad for quitting his dojo (and taking my daughters with me; they wouldn’t study without me). Sensei and I went out to dinner shortly afterward, he refunded my tuition for the remainder of the year, and we remain friends to this day.
But holy cow did I miss Karate. It did not take me long to deteriorate physically. Several months later somebody snapped a picture of me in a work setting. Seeing the picture afterward put me in a depression for days; to my eyes, I’d aged visibly since quitting Karate. Most likely this was an illusion; intellectually I know that photos lie (kinda like depression). A still image cannot possibly tell the truth about what you actually look like. You can only truly look like yourself in motion. When is a person ever truly still? Only in still photographs (and death, but you’re not really yourself there either, are you?).
Years went by. I always intended to go back to Karate. I wanted to be physically fit again. I wanted to look good again (well, as good as it’s possible for an aging guy like me to get, anyway). But something always got in the way. Just as I was planning to return to the dojo, I broke my ankle. I texted Sensei. How long after breaking your ankle was it okay to return to Karate? One day if you’re Jackie Chan, I knew, but my Sensei wisely suggested a few months. Still, I didn’t make it back.
One day I dropped by the old dojo just to say hi. Subconsciously I think I wanted the gang to convince me to return. I caught the class in the middle of a workout. On a water break they came over to the reception area. A couple said hi, but I didn’t feel any of the previous camaraderie I’d felt with the group. I don’t know why. Probably it was just me, projecting something onto them. They weren’t there to make me feel welcome, it wasn’t about me, they were there to work out. Anyway, it left me feeling kinda cold and unwelcome, so that was it for that dojo.
I tried other means of working out, joined a gym for a bit. But that has never done it for me. I can’t stand walking or jogging on treadmills. I need someone at the front of the class barking orders. It can even be me barking the orders. Someone, anyone, has to inspire me work out, and then I’m fine with it. But not just any kind of class. Has to be martial arts. It’s the only kind of exercise that really interests me. It would take an entire separate post to explain why that’s the case.
Fast forward a few more years. My neck and shoulders began bothering me. Too much time spent walking enormous Golden Retrievers yanking at the leash, too much time hunched over desks and laptops. The pandemic hit. Working from home eased the neck and shoulder problem somewhat but it came back when we moved to New Brunswick. I researched dojos in the Moncton area, secretly afraid that I’d never have the nerve to sign up again, that, at fifty-eight, I’d aged out of the sport. Then (as I’ve written before) I joined the Moncton YMCA, and on the first day there saw a couple of guys wearing Karate Gis who invited me to audit a class, and I’ve never looked back. The neck and shoulder pain disappeared within weeks and has never returned. I haven’t dislocated my thumb again (yet) and no black belts have bruised any ribs (yet). Haven’t even jammed any toes (yet). I just feel pretty good, most days.
Because it’s a different style (Shotokan as opposed to Shorin Ryu) I had to start back as a white belt, but that didn’t bother me at all; after a year and a half I’ve kicked and punched my way back up to orange (next stop: green belt). And I have to learn an entirely different suite of Katas (forms), though many employ roughly the same moves. The biggest challenge is the subtle differences; I still have muscle memory of the old way of doing things. I do miss the jiu-jitsu we sometimes practised at my former dojo, and other practical self-defense moves that interested me and my former Sensei, but perhaps we’ll get more into that as I progress within this dojo.
Donovan Street Press Inc. is looking for advance readers for upcoming books. If you’re interested, drop us a line at contact@donovanstreetpress.com
Impressions of Dark Matter (2024)
Just finished watching Dark Matter (2024) on Apple TV. This is not to be confused with another TV show called Dark Matter which aired between 2015 and 2017. I watched most of that one too; about a bunch of people who wake up on a starship with no memories of who they are, it was a cool premise but in terms of story telling prowess pretty lame compared to this one. The two shows have virtually nothing in common except that they each exist somewhere on the science fiction continuem.
Dark Matter (2024) is based on the Blake Crouch novel of the same name. I’ve read it; it’s good. My daughter loved the book; she hasn’t seen the entire TV series yet, but I have, and I’d say the TV series is better.
It’s about a physicist from one timeline who is jealous of a version of himself from another timeline. The innocent physicist’s life is stolen by the jealous version. It’s a great set up. The show starts with a slow burn as our hero, Jason Desson, is kidnapped and replaced.
I was a little frustrated watching Jason slowly try to figure out what was happening to him but of course I had the advantage of having read the book. Once Jason does figure it out it all heats up and the narrative boldly and imaginatively sweeps you along.
Australian Joel Edgerton is completely believable as the two subtly different versions of Jason Desson. Jimmi Simpson is charismatic as Ryan Holder, Jason’s close friend who gets caught up in the action, as is Alice Braga as Amanda Lucas.
The last couple of episodes are deliciously tense and surprising as the story reaches a logical and satisfying conclusion. Is it worth subscribing to Apple TV for? Perhaps, if you haven’t seen Sugar and Ted Lasso yet either.
“I always find out after the fact that the books I've been writing were actually some sort of therapy, some sort of, you know, self-examination that I had to write the book in order to complete.”
~Blake Crouch, author of Dark Matter
This reality’s version of Blake Crouch
Podcast
Re-Creative: a podcast about creativity and the works that inspire it.
This week Mark and I were joined by writer and poet Abigail Grimes to discuss the classic Ray Bradbury novel Fahrenheit 451.
Fahrenheit 451, as perhaps you know, is a warning about the dangers of totalitarian thinking and censorship.
"One of the criticisms about the book is the writing is so beautiful that it's hard to take it seriously," Abigail tells us. The gorgeous prose helps the reader get past the worst parts of horror in the book, she says.
Abigail makes a great case for why you should read Fahrenheit 451, if you haven't already. It's a fun conversation about the 1950s, how Bradbury wrote the book, and about the writer himself. We hope you'll listen in!Y expensive.)
Future episodes of Re-Creative will feature Blair Young, Bruce Sterling, Tom Bradley, Hugh Spencer, Lisa Brandt, Tony Schwartz, and Robert Runte, with plenty more guests on the way.
All previous episodes are available online, comprising the first 2 seasons, over 40 conversations with creative people from all walks of life about the art stoking their imaginative fires.
"Partly memoir, partly fiction, The Deer Yard is more than merely a good read." ~The Ottawa Review of Books
Tom Mahoney grew up on a small family farm in Johnville, New Brunswick. Despite a lack of modern conveniences such as running water and electricity, he wouldn't have had it any other way. Tom's was a world of natural beauty; of soft and lonely quiet. Life was never dull. His active imagination was nourished by ghosts and demons, intrepid priests, drunken neighbours, redneck bullies, frightened deer, angry bears, wannabe circus dogs, and plenty of shenanigans. From these seeds great stories grew. Drawing on his own experiences and those of his family — his father was also a gifted storyteller — Tom's humorous and touching tales, spanning decades, brim with colour and authenticity.
Donovan Street Press Inc. will be at a Pitch the Publisher Event Area 506 Container Market Saint John, NB. Saturday Sept 21st 2024
I’ll be doing another signing with Partridge Island Publishing in the Area 506 Container Market in Saint John, NB Friday Sept 27th
Saturday October 19th I’ll be at the Athena’s Touch Hallowe’en Craft Fair at the Lion’s Club in Riverview, quite possibly in costume. We’ll see!
I will also be at two other Athena’s Touch Craft Fairs this fall, dates yet to be determined, at the Riverview Lion’s Club in Riverview.
Yours Truly on Spotify
Some instrumental music I’ve recorded over the years in now available on music platforms such as Apple, Spotify and Amazon. Full disclosure: for every stream of mine you listen to on one of these platforms, I receive 0.000000000000000000001 cent (or something like that).
You can find it by searching for the album Underdog by Joe Mahoney. Enjoy! (If it’s your cup of tea, that is.)
